My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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