I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
