I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
