I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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