she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
