I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
