I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
