I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
