remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
