I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
