I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
