My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
