It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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