i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
