So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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