she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
