When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
everyone is single if you try hard enough
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
