:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
