For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
