that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
