She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
