Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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