you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just invented taco cereal.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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