Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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