happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
