do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
