i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
