none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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