do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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