he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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