I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
