I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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