my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
