Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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