I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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