Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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