Midget sex pt 2 tonight
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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