Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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