my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
