Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
