No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
