Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I think my moral compass just broke
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