You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
3pm strippers are depressing
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
