kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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