you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
