So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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