You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
