if you like me you must not know who I am
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
