peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
