My room smells like vodka and shame
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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