I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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