he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
