i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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